Wishful Dreaming

I had this dream last night where I was yelling at someone and telling them all the things about them that bugged me, all the negative things I felt towards them. This person got really angry back at me. It was one of the biggest fights I have ever had. But I was relieved to finally tell them how I felt. And when I woke up I was still relieved until I realized it was all just a dream.

From: http://www.spiritcommunity.com/

Anger - Angry

dream interpretation/meaning of dream

This may be a carry-over from your daily life. In our dreams we can experience and express such feelings safely. Feeling great anger in your dream may be disturbing but pay attention to it and attempt to deal with all of your emotions in a more appropriate and productive manner.

Even though I was really angry in how I handled my feelings in my dream, the feeling of relief that I had made it seem worth it. I'm glad that this fight didn't happen in actual life but it really got me thinking. Should people walk around this earth being completely honest with each other? And I don't mean honest like "wow you look really ugly in that," or "I hate your new hair cut," but being honest like, "What you just said really hurt my feelings," and "When you talk to me like that I fell like you are talking down to me". In my dream these things were so easy to say, granted they weren't said properly (I don't think expressing feelings of hurt need to involve anger) but I still said them. And I felt relieved. I had never woken up so relieved in my life, like a weight was lifted off my shoulders. It was really fantastic. So how do you go from being painfully understanding and not standing up for yourself to being truly honest with everyone around you? I would like to learn whatever the answer may be.

Guess What

I JUST GOT AN APARTMENT!!!!!!

PICTURES TO FOLLOW....

Why I haven't written

Last Friday was amazing. I was able to see Toni and Michael for his birthday, and meet their assorted family members. I thought everything was coming together fine in my big city life. I felt like I was succeeding.

The Truth.
While in no way am I failing, I feel like I'm not succeeding the way I planned. I came out here expecting to live the dream of being Carrie Bradshaw, whom I totally look up to as much as one can a fictional character. We are both writers, both love fashion, and both moved to the big city expecting our lives to begin. But I didn't realize how difficult it would be. Don't get me wrong, the city and I are still going VERY strong. But I am so stressed by finding my way I am losing momentum to go forward. It is such an amazing experience, even in the really desperate times, like right now, when I don't feel like I can go on, I know that I will make it through to the other side. I know that in time I will be living in the lower East Village, writing regularly, and shopping for amazing shoes. But for now. I feel like I am sinking away into failure.

Carrie once said:

“As we drive along this road called life, occasionally a gal will find herself a little lost. And when that happens, I guess she has to let go of the coulda, shoulda, woulda, buckle up and just keep going.”

And that is what I am going to do. I am going to let go of all the coulda, shoulda, wouldas, and buckle up and keep going until I can't go any further.