Why I haven't written

Last Friday was amazing. I was able to see Toni and Michael for his birthday, and meet their assorted family members. I thought everything was coming together fine in my big city life. I felt like I was succeeding.

The Truth.
While in no way am I failing, I feel like I'm not succeeding the way I planned. I came out here expecting to live the dream of being Carrie Bradshaw, whom I totally look up to as much as one can a fictional character. We are both writers, both love fashion, and both moved to the big city expecting our lives to begin. But I didn't realize how difficult it would be. Don't get me wrong, the city and I are still going VERY strong. But I am so stressed by finding my way I am losing momentum to go forward. It is such an amazing experience, even in the really desperate times, like right now, when I don't feel like I can go on, I know that I will make it through to the other side. I know that in time I will be living in the lower East Village, writing regularly, and shopping for amazing shoes. But for now. I feel like I am sinking away into failure.

Carrie once said:

“As we drive along this road called life, occasionally a gal will find herself a little lost. And when that happens, I guess she has to let go of the coulda, shoulda, woulda, buckle up and just keep going.”

And that is what I am going to do. I am going to let go of all the coulda, shoulda, wouldas, and buckle up and keep going until I can't go any further.